


Going Down

by DktrAgonizer



Category: The Walking Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2432714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DktrAgonizer/pseuds/DktrAgonizer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenny's the one to fall in the alley, not Ben. Ben tries to set things right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going Down

He thinks he’s going to be the last one off the balcony. He’s always the last one, always the one bringing up the rear because he can’t make himself push to the front. The others are more important, more useful, and they’re the ones who need to go first while everything remains safe.

But just as Kenny’s about to follow the others across, he turns and gives Ben a soft smile. Ben’s stomach clenches. Kenny shouldn’t be looking at him like that, not when he -

“Go on, kid,” Kenny says, interrupting Ben’s thoughts. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Ben takes a deep, shaky breath. “Okay.” When he passes Kenny and climbs up on the railing, Christa and Omid smile encouragingly at him. Lee’s there too, but the look on his face is one of grim determination.

The jump isn’t all that far, but they’re high off the ground and it’s intimidating. Still, Ben pushes his fear aside and leaps - and the moment just before his feet leave the railing he feels it start to go with him. Omid helps him pull himself up onto the building and Ben turns to tell Kenny to stop, to go back.

But Kenny’s already on the balcony. It’s hanging part way off the wall and they all notice it, but nobody says anything. What choice do they have? It’s either jump or stay trapped in the room with the dead couple and countless numbers of walkers milling about just below.

The balcony holds until Kenny stands on the railing. It falls before he has a chance to leap, but not before everyone can see his eyes widen and his mouth open in alarm.

Lee lunges forward with his one arm as if to grab for his friend, but it’s too far and too late. Kenny falls with the balcony between the two buildings, letting out a terrified scream that cuts short when he hits the ground. The sound is loud and Ben’s heart leaps into his throat at the thought of Kenny lying broken and mangled in the alley with a swarm of walkers conversing on him.

“Kenny!” Lee leans far over the open space and Christa grabs onto his shoulder to make sure he doesn’t topple over.

“Shit,” Omid whispers. Lee backs up from the roof’s edge, his face looking paler than it had before. Christa keeps one hand on his shoulder. “What do we do?” Omid asks, looking between the two of them.

Ben swipes his tongue over his lower lip. It’s dry and cracked and he doesn’t remember the last time any of them had a drink of water and oh god Kenny’s down there maybe dead maybe dying maybe -

“We need to help him.” Lee’s voice interrupts Ben’s thoughts, jarring him back to his senses. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath; he lets it out in one loud gasp.

“Does anybody have any bullets left?” Lee asks, looking down at his gun. “I just have one.”

Nobody does.

“Christa, Ben, Omid,” Lee says, giving them each a nod. “Wait up here. I’ll handle this.”

“Are you sure?” Christa takes a step forward, concern flitting across her face. “If he needs to be carried, you’ll need somebody...” There’s a small pause where they all, Lee included, glance at Lee’s amputated arm.

“I’ll be fine, you don’t need to come down and endanger yourselves too,” Lee assures them. Ben notices him look at Christa’s belly and Ben’s eyebrows rise. Shit, was she pregnant? How come he never noticed?

“Be careful,” Omid says, and Lee gives a firm nod.

When Lee moves to leave the rooftop, Ben moves to follow him. “I’m coming too,” he announces, and he hates the way his voice shakes. Lee pauses and gives him a look. Ben takes in a deep breath and squares his jaw, trying to look braver than he feels. After a beat, he gives it up and instead says, “I want to help. I want to try to set things right.”

Lee doesn’t argue. Ben swears he can see a faint hint of pride underneath the concern on Lee’s face - or maybe he’s just imagining things.

It doesn’t matter. They head down.

Ben doesn’t see the metal sticking up through Kenny’s stomach at first, but Lee does. “Oh god, Kenny,” Lee breathes, dropping down to a crouch next to his friend.

“Hey, Lee.” Kenny’s voice is quiet and surprisingly calm. No, not calm - defeated. Ben can see the expression clear on Kenny’s face. He knows the position he’s in. He knows there’s no way out of this.

“Maybe we can lift him up?” Ben suggests, and his voice pitches and cracks in that way he’s always hated on the last word. He stares at the metal in Kenny’s stomach before swiveling his head to look behind them. The walkers haven’t noticed them yet. One stroke of good luck among the bad. When Kenny speaks, Ben looks back and is careful to keep his gaze on the man’s face.

“Don’t be fuckin’ stupid, kid,” Kenny says, and his tone carries more weariness than derision for once. “There ain’t no gettin’ out of this for me.”

“Are you sure we can’t-” Lee starts, but Kenny raises one hand to cut him off. That small movement causes him pain and he lets out a gasp. There’s blood bubbling at the corner of Kenny’s mouth and Ben winces before dropping his gaze. 

“Listen, Lee.” Kenny drops his hand again, too tired to keep it up. He speaks quickly and softly, and the pain in his tone is almost too much to bear. “You gotta find that girl. She’s the only thing that matters now.”

“I can’t leave you!” Lee exclaims, and his voice is just a little too loud, a little too strong. Ben’s eyes dart to the entrance of the alley, anxiously waiting for the inevitable.

“There’s no savin’ me,” Kenny insists. “But there’s still hope for Clem. Go on, go find her! It has to be you!”

Lee hesitates. Ben inhales sharply as a walker starts to make its way into the alley. There are others behind it, looking curiously around. They’ll be swarmed soon. “Lee,” Ben whispers. Lee doesn’t say anything. “Lee!” Ben repeats, louder.

“Go on,” he says, crouching next to Kenny. “Find Clementine. I’ll stay with him.”

Kenny lets out a sound that could either be a forced laugh or a choked sob. Lee looks from him to Ben and says, quietly, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” he replies, and his voice doesn’t shake for once. “I need to do this. I’m going to do something right. Please, just find Clem. She needs you.”

Kenny makes that sound again and it’s killing Ben to not look at him, but he’s worried that if he breaks eye contact with Lee, he’ll lose his courage and follow him back up that roof. But he won’t allow himself even that chance.

The moment seems to last forever, but finally Lee nods. “Here,” he says, handing Ben his pistol. “One bullet.” And with a soft, “I’m sorry,” to Kenny, Lee heads back up to the roof.

The walkers are in the alley now, but they’re moving so slow. Ben turns from them to look at Kenny. “Kenny, I’m sor-”

“Can it, kid,” Kenny coughs. “I know.”

Ben tries to swallow past the sudden lump in his throat. The pistol feels heavy in his hands. Awkward, clumsy. He’s not good with these things. “What do I do?” he manages, finally, in a whisper that’s barely audible.

“Christ, Ben, you stayed down here and you don’t even know what you’re doin’?” Kenny’s eyes close in a spasm of pain. There’s more blood at the corner of his mouth and Ben can’t stop staring at it.

A moment passes before Kenny’s eyes open again and he says, “Jesus, I never thought it’d end like this. Where did this all go wrong?”

Ben’s not sure this is something Kenny wants answered, so he keeps quiet. He looks behind him at the approaching walkers and his hand closes tighter over the pistol. He can’t stay here much longer.

Kenny moves, letting out a pained hiss through his teeth as he holds out his pistol. “Here. Take it. One bullet left. How much you got there?”

Ben hesitates before grabbing Kenny’s gun. “One.”

“Good. That leaves one for you.” Ben’s eyes widen in alarm and Kenny grunts. Or was that supposed to be a laugh? “Don’t give me that look, kid, you know you’re gonna have to shoot me. Shoot me, and you still got one for yourself if you can’t get outta here.”

“But I-”

“I’m not as scared as I thought I’d be, y’know?” Kenny goes on, effectively cutting off Ben’s weak protest. “I mean, shit, of course I’m scared. I don’t want to die. But after Katjaa, after Duck...” He lets out a long sigh and his eyes slip closed again.

Ben swallows, trying to gather the words. He’s running out of time, and so is Kenny. The blood is slowly spreading across the ground, and the man’s getting paler by the moment. The walkers are starting to close in.

“Maybe,” Ben says, voice high and breathy and sounding way too desperately hopeful. “Maybe you can see them again, you know? Up in heaven. I’m sure they’re-” What, waiting for him? That sounds cruel. Ben chokes on the words, but Kenny doesn’t seem to notice.

“I would love to see them again,” he whispers, eyes still closed. “I miss them so much.”

Ben looks behind him and his heart climbs its way back up into his throat. They’re out of time. “Kenny, I-”

“Get it over with, kid.” It’s not an order, but a plea. Ben scrambles to his feet, tucking one of the guns in the waistband of his jeans. The walkers are almost on them; there’s no time to think. 

Ben pauses long enough to aim the other pistol and pulls the trigger. The gun drops to the ground as he ducks out of the way of the nearest walker taking a swipe at him.

Even later, he’s not sure how he did it, but Ben makes his way out of the alley just fine. Shaking and crying and wishing it had been him lying in a pool of his own blood in the alley, but fine.

\---

By the time he finds the railroad, his lungs are burning and his legs are threatening to collapse underneath him. But he can’t stop moving. The tracks are swarming with walkers and Ben almost doesn’t believe his eyes at first. So they really have been following the train all this time, over all that distance.

Oh god. This was the meeting place. What if...

No, no, don’t panic. Just keep moving.

He wishes he could call out, but that would attract the surrounding dead as well. Perhaps if he could get to some higher ground where they couldn’t reach him - but then he’d need a way back down after, and if nobody was around to help, he’d be screwed.

Oh god he’s so bad at this. Ben wishes more than anything he had somebody with him. He doesn’t know what to do alone. There’s no way he could make it long on his own. He screws everything up, he can’t protect anyone else, he can’t protect himself, he’s next to useless at fighting...

He stops to consider the weight of the gun nestled against his lower back. He still has one bullet left. Just in case.

He keeps walking.

Even when his legs threaten to give out, he keeps walking, following along the tracks until he leaves the city far behind. It would be so easy to give in and sit down, to give his aching feet and legs a rest, but he’s terrified that if he does he’ll never want to get back up. Why should he keep going on alone, after all? He doesn’t even know if Lee and the others found Clementine, or if they’re all even alive. 

Lee certainly isn’t.

The thought of Clementine still alive but trapped with some hostile stranger is enough to make Ben scream. He doesn’t care if there are walkers around, he can always outrun those in the open field. It’s safer out here by the tracks, away from the buildings and tight spaces and hiding places and narrow alleyways of the city.

Off in the distance, three figures turn towards him. Ben almost doesn’t think anything of it, but then he squints and takes a closer look. Something about the figures is too familiar, and it tugs at him. Perhaps it’s nothing more than wishful thinking, but -

Two of them are taller than the third. The small one looks like it could be wearing a hat. But - no, that’s impossible, it couldn’t be...

Ben feels his legs give out, finally. He sinks to his knees in the grass beside the tracks, giving a loud, relieved sob. He raises one hand hesitantly and waves.

In the distance, three hands wave back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Consider leaving a comment letting me know your thoughts; I'd love to read them!


End file.
